Experiments with art and socialising

[heirtothearcane]

For want of a neutral starting point, Viatorus suggested that they begin their playdate meet up at a café he'd spotted on his travels. He was tempted to get a cup of akh while he waited, but settled on a good cup of tea instead. Something familiar and calming. At one point he tries crossing his legs, but his restlessness made his foot jitter so he sat on the edge of his chair, careful not to bump the leather satchel by his feet - of course he has a leather satchel, how could he possibly be a caricature of a British scholar without one?

This man knows Verity, he reminds himself, and Verity wouldn't be friends with anyone bad or immoral or any such thing. It's a small, flawed comfort, but he clings onto it and tries to relax while he keeps his eye open for Steve. The way his fingers are drumming against his cup suggest he's not doing the best job of that.

Comments

[juststeverogers]

Steve Rogers is many things, and punctual is one of them. The tiny man is soon spotted in his usual suit and tie looking around for the cafe he had been asked to meet Viatorus at. He doesn't look nearly as nervous as the other, but then they are going to be doing one of his favorite activities.

When he does spot Viatorus Steve will give a little wave and head that way.

"Were you waiting long?" Steve shucks his shoulder bag as he sinks into his seat. "Sorry, I got a bit turned around trying to find this place."

[heirtothearcane]

The wave is mirrored with a more awkward bobbing of Viatorus' hand up and down. It's much easier when Steve comes over and takes a seat, he can prod his cup then. "No. No, I wasn't waiting long. Would you... Would you like a drink?"

[juststeverogers]

"Sure. Whatever you're having is fine." Now Steve would consider himself to be polite, but Viatorus' discomfort with the whole social outing is on a whole other level past polite manners. "Do..you want to go somewhere else?" He wonders if his sister put him up to this outing.

"I don't want you to do anything you'd rather not..."

[heirtothearcane]

There is some truth to the thought that 'An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable'.

"I'm alright. I, uh..." Sheepish glances dart between his drink and Steve. He takes a deep breath. "I-I'm not... I'm not very good with people. I'm trying to get better at it." It was so much easier when he was using Verity as a crutch.

"A-Are you sure you'd like what I'm having? Most Americans... they prefer coffee to tea. Or akh. Akh is nice."

[juststeverogers]

"There's nothing wrong with preferring solitude." Steve gives Viatorus a sympathetic smile. "And sure. I'm not too picky about what I eat or drink. I don't know what Akh is though." He pulls a pencil out of his shoulder bag and twirls it between his fingers.

"So what do you most like to draw? We could go to the park district if you prefer nature, for example."

[heirtothearcane]

He likes people, he wants to say, but then that would involve discussing anxiety further and he's much prefer to accept Steve's sympathetic smile. Viatorus' brow lifts as he stops his thoughts to tell Steve earnestly, "Oh, akh is nice. It's very nice. Verity introduced it to me. It's a cinnamon drink."

He goes to catch the attention of a waiter, but his attempt dissolves into a hand gesture that coils away and a mumbling that peters off rather quickly. Eager to move over the awkwardness of that, he flips open his satchel and pulls out a sketchbook to offer it over. While he talks, he pays more and more attention to his hands. "You, ah... You let me see yours. Mine... My drawings are... They're more messy than yours. Most of them. I draw things I've seen in dreams, but sometimes that's not defined, it's a silhouette or a feeling o-or a motion. To practice, I draw things in the waking world. Anything and everything, really."

The sketchbook is a mismatched journal of faces and figures drawn with the barest line art contrasting the impressionistic figures and settings that look like they might have been done frantically, in a fever. These ones are all in charcoal and most of the images make sense. Most of them.

[juststeverogers]

That's right. Viatorus is friends with Verity and Amelia. He remembers this from the party. Of course they would share things with him. It's the friendly thing to do, after all.

"I've talked to Amelia about teas a few times, but the subject of drinks hasn't come up with Verity yet. Usually she teaches me about food." Because boiling everything is not cooking, Steve. Not everything needs to be purged of parasites and flavor anymore. Food safety is a thing.

"Thank you." Steve sets his pencil aside to accept Viatorus' sketchbook and carefully page through it."Style is different than skill." He points out quietly. "Your drawings feel like dreams, almost. The technique suits your style." He handles the sketchbook with care, and when he's finished he will offer it back. "I draw memories, quite often. I try to capture them as best I can, to keep something of my home world."

[heirtothearcane]

Hearing that Amelia knows about teas almost surprises him, and then he remembers her bringing a picnic into the library. That should have been enough of a sign that she was tea-smart.

He murmurs a small 'thank you' as he pulls his sketchbook closer. "That's what dreams are made of: Memories. Y-Your mind takes bits and pieces and reassembles them as it needs to. That's why you can have extremely vivid dreams of past events, or see half-familiar settings and faces." Considering how offers of dream-construction have been received in the past, he opts to leave out the subject for now. "It's much harder to draw things that aren't in front of you, I think. Would you... Would you like to go somewhere in particular to draw?"

[juststeverogers]

"I suppose I hadn't given it much thought before." Steve taps the pencil against the table absently, staring off across the Nexus for a moment. "What do you call it when you have vivid dreams about things that never happened to you, though?" When he finally asks, his voice is far off, his mind clearly remembering something else.

The nightmares he had after arriving here were vivid, even though they weren't his memories.

Steve seems to snap out of it quickly, pencil slipping from his fingers and clattering to the floor.

"Ah!" He bends down to scoop it up. "Sorry about that, really. I got distracted for a minute there." He shrinks into his seat briefly, embarrassed that he'd spaced out like that. "I uh, I got used to drawing from memory while I was in school. I was never fast enough to finish a sketch while we were in class, so I had to work on them from home a lot."

He gestures around them.

"Here is fine if you prefer to draw people. There's plenty coming and going. I spend a lot of time in the commercial district and the forum people watching."

[heirtothearcane]

Viatorus is just about to answer when Steve's pencil goes flying, making him jump in his seat. Hopefully his new friend didn't spot that though...

"We'll draw here a-and then, if we like, we can move somewhere else," he suggests, twiddling his fingers and checking Steve's expression to see if he agrees.

[juststeverogers]

Since that's as much of an opinion as Steve thinks he's going to get out of Viatorus, he gives the other a reassuring nod before he flips his own sketchbook open.

"You put a lot of stock into dreams, don't you?" Since that's most of what the other draws, Steve figures he can hazard a guess. "You seemed a lot more at ease talking about that."

Steve's already sketching, though he doesn't seem to be aware of it so much. Figures begin to take shape, nothing but lines and blocks to mark out where things are going for now, but slowly an image starts to take shape. It's a woman staring down, her hands drawn close to her chest.

[heirtothearcane]

With Steve's approval, Viatorus reaches to his satchel to pull out a pencil and rubber. Charcoal is a bit messy for using around someone he's just met, he thinks.

It's as he's swapping out his sketchbook for another that Steve asks his question and Viatorus' movements slow. He gives the other man a cautionary glance and then focuses on his own things. "Yes, well. I'm... I'm a dreamwalker. I spend a lot of time in dreams."

A pause and then he adds, "And dreams about things that haven't happened yet could be several things. Your mind's 'best guesses' for the future, or your psyche trying to talk to you."

[juststeverogers]

"I don't know what that is." Steve admits, shaking his head. He looks up form his sketchbook, head canting to the side slightly. "Why are you flinching? Is it a bad thing?' He's not sure Viatorus could handle doing a bad thing. "Does that mean you sleep a lot, or..?"

"It was certainly strange." Steve admits with a nod. "And unpleasant."

[heirtothearcane]

"No. No, it's... It's just... D-Dreamwalking is... is being able to move through dreams. I can go into other people's dreams. Change them. People... People don't always react well to hearing that." Other than the occasional glance, his eyes are fixed firmly on the page in front of him as he finds a clear one. "Are they... are they nightmares?"

[juststeverogers]

"That's...an interesting power to have." Steve's not sure what to make of it. He's not flinching away or looking upset though. Progress? "I can see why. Having someone else in your head. But I mean...It could be helpful? To have someone impartial able to parse your thoughts." Steve tries not to stare at Viatorus, choosing instead to talk down to his sketchbook as he works on the blocky shape he's decided his work will be holding. And apparently staring at.

"...They are." He nods again simply. "They aren't as frequent as they were when I got here, but...well." He hasn't seen a reason to have them again, since.

[heirtothearcane]

"It's not... It's not like that. It's not like telepathy." His response is a little quicker this time, straining as it balances desperate reassurance with calm appearances. "It's like walking into a conversation halfway through with no context. The dreamer is always the most powerful."

Viatorus lifts his head to pick something to draw. He settles on a far off stranger loitering at a corner. "Maybe you're working through whatever prompted them."

[juststeverogers]

"I wouldn't think otherwise. I'm just saying I can understand the discomfort of having something private like that be...not. Anymore." Steve shrugs. "It doesn't bother me. Mister Schon already asked me t draw my dreams for him. So....I gave him my nightmare. One of them, anyway." Slowly the figure of onemorebounty begins to take shape, inspecting a gun carefully. No matter how hard Steve works, he's not going to be completely satisfied with the gun. He'd only seen it for a bit at their training, not enough for a great reference.

"I haven't seen what prompted them since then."

[heirtothearcane]

That pulls Viatorus' attention away from his drawing and he frowns at Steve, puzzled. "He asked you to draw your dreams? Why?"

"Then maybe they'll fade away. That's... good, isn't it?"

[juststeverogers]

"When I was taking requests, trying to make money after I got here. He requested me to draw a dream." Steve seems surprised that this is a big deal, but he doesn't know a lot about why it could be significant. "I didn't ask much more than that. He seemed satisfied with what I gave him."

"...I don't think so." Steve shakes his head gently. "The thing that caused my nightmares....was what happened to my friend. A version of him, anyway. But I haven't seen him since I arrived."

[heirtothearcane]

The creases in his brow deepen. He doesn't know Steve particularly well, it's true. He doesn't know Schön at all except by reputation. He does know dreams, however, and he finds himself feeling protective over Steve's although he has little right to be. "He seemed satisfied with a drawing of your nightmare? And he didn't say why he wanted it? Why it appealed to him?"

He'll wait a bit before offering, "Do you want to talk about it?"

[juststeverogers]

Steve nods, still unsure what about this transaction could be so upsetting.

"He didn't specifically ask for a nightmare, just a dream. But that was all I'd been dreaming about at the time...so that's what I gave him. I think he liked it either way."

Aside from her firearm, Steve doesn't seem to be having trouble recollecting the details of the bounty hunter. It won't be finished until he gets a chance to see her again, but it definitely is a good start.

"He knew me, but it was obvious he'd been through a lot. And he didn't know himself." Steve flips to a clean page. "I'll show you. "

[heirtothearcane]

Drawing while they talk is surprisingly helpful. It keeps his hands distracted and gives his eyes somewhere to be. That, and talking about dreams, makes him significantly more at ease than he was a few minutes ago.

Steve's answers aren't what he's looking for, but he doubts he'll get anything better. So his mouth twitches and he forces himself not to comment.

He looks up and over to Steve when he turns to a new page. "He didn't know himself?"

[juststeverogers]

Steve's drawing a figure on the left side of the page. He should be familiar since Viatorus has looked through Steve's sketchbook. It's the same dark haired man on many of the previous pages. Confident and smiling and probably teasing someone or making a joke by the posture Steve chooses.

"They did something to his mind. He wasn't himself anymore. But...somehow...he knew me. He didn't remember me, but he knew who I was. I think it scared him. Certainly scared me." Steve quickly does a messy quick sketch of his friend and shows Viatorus. "This is my best friend. His name's James Buchanen Barnes. Bucky. That's who this man used to be." He'll turn the sheet around and begin sketching again, but this time it's entirely different.

The hair is longer and gnarled, uncared for. There's the soldier's outfit, certainly, and the metal left arm. But it's the posture, the lifeless robotic posture he carries, and the dead eyes that Steve spends much more time on. The weapons, sure, but the sunken cheeks and pale skin. The empty expression and trauma filled gaze when he does show any emotion at all. Steve draws the Winter Soldier on the right side of the page.

There's no mistaking that these are the same person in appearance. But they couldn't be more different despite looks. Steve hands the sheet over several minutes later, so Viatorus can see for himself.

[heirtothearcane]

Viatorus watches and listens attentively, quiet and patient while Steve tells him the story with words and then pictures. When Steve hands the page over with both the drawings on it, his eyes flicker back and forth, and his brow twinges as a flurry of thoughts come to mind. His mouth moves as if about to say something, but he doesn't voice whatever he's thinking about.

When does he speak his voice is low and soft. "What happened in your nightmare?"

Warning: graphic violence. Let me know if I need to dial it back.

[juststeverogers]

"In my nightmare..." Steve watches Viatorous for a moment before his gaze falters and drops to the table. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out for a moment.

"He picks me up by my neck and chokes the life out of me." Steve inhales sharply. "And when I start to black out, all he says is 'Bucky is dead' before he breaks my neck and drops me."

He doesn't stutter while he recounts the dream, but neither does he look up. His voice is small and sad, used to the vision but still deeply disturbed by its contents.

"I can't get over how sad he seems. How. ..empty. And how there might have been something I could have done to help. .."

It's alright. Thanks for the warning!

[heirtothearcane]

The vivid imagery and the picture combine to make a startling narrative. During the mention of neck breaking, Viatorus flinches and pushes the page away from himself. He's not sure whether Steve wants to see it right now, but he doesn't want to.

"I-It sounds like guilt. Like your psyche trying to force you to address the guilt you feel over letting him down, or your fear over being unable to help. He was your friend, it's only natural you feel partly responsible for not being able to protect him. Anyone would, if they saw their friend change like that, into that. His overwhelming strength emphasises your feeling of helplessness; blacking out could echo your absence; the line about him being dead suggests a sense of loss..." He shrugs awkwardly, staring at his page and doodling therapeutic circles and curves that will eventually become a mouse. "That's the most reasonable explanation."

[juststeverogers]

"Other times, when I dream, there's an explosion. And water. Cold water. I can't warm up. And I know Bucky's there too, but I can't see him. Can't find him. And after a while I start to freeze, I never fall asleep, but I stop being able to move." Steve sighs deeply and stares down at the drawings he'd put on the paper.

"That never happened to either of us. but...Verity told me it happened to me. Some version of me, anyway. I guess it resonated with me more than I thought." He turns to his eraser and cleans up some of the lines of his quick sketches, his fingers gentle on the page. "He's the only friend I ever had....before I ended up stuck here."

Guilt makes sense. Loss makes sense. Steve can't argue with either of those. He doesn't want to try, because it's true. He doesn't want to stop having the nightmares, as strange as it sounds. it's the only way he sees his friend, anymore. "Sorry. For talking about it. I mean. I didn't mean to.." He gestures weakly. Bring the mood down, bring up things like this. "Sorry." He repeats again, rather than explaining.

[heirtothearcane]

"It's alright." Sort of. Verity would have given him a look for that. "You need to talk about it. If it's changing your dreams, you need to talk about it. It's important to you. I'm not... I haven't... People haven't really talked to me about things like this before." A meek smile. "People haven't really talked to me much at all. I'm sorry I'm not a better person to talk to about it, but I can listen. I'm good at listening. I think. I like it, anyway. You can... You can keep talking if you like."

[juststeverogers]

"But you're an expert on dreams." Steve looks up finally, and he seems a bit puzzled. "Why wouldn't people look to you for advice? I just didn't want to bring the mood of the afternoon down, since we were supposed to be drawing--a traditionally relaxing experience." here Steve forces a smile. It would also get him a look from Verity were she here.

They're both lucky she isn't, right this second.

"I appreciate you listening. I...haven't been able to talk about it much before. People feel guilty about it, and it's...I don't want people to feel bad. I just...." He sighs. "It's really lonely here, sometimes. I have friends here, but. I miss my home. I miss Bucky." He misses his neighborhood and even his mother's grave. At least it proved she was real. "I'm glad I met the people I did here though." Steve smiles again and it's more sincere again. He means it. He just needed a minute.

Viatorus listening helped.

"More people should heed your experience and wisdom on the matter."

[heirtothearcane]

That sort of compliment gets him to duck his head and smile bashfully, shaking his head vaguely despite how nice it is to hear someone talk about him like that. Not that he believes it, of course, but it's nice. "I only started consulting recently," he replies, not that it's much of an explanation. "People here are a lot more wary than people back home."

Viatorus stops to fidget with his pencil and give an uncertain smile of sympathy. "I know that it'd hard for you, like it is for Verity. Familiar things are comforting so it makes sense that you'd miss them. Um..." He fixes his gaze on his page. "Verity... Verity says that it's nice to visit my world sometimes. It's familiar to her, even though it's different. If you'd like... I know it's not in the forties, a-and that it's in England... but next time we could draw in my world, if you wanted to."

[juststeverogers]

"Give it some time. You should try to be more confident in your work. People will trust you easier if you trust yourself." He seems to be sincere Viatorus! The compliment and his beliefs. He gives Viatorus a small smile before flipping back a page and gently pushing his sketch of Samus Aran over for him to see.

"I enjoy sketching. And you're good company. If you'd like to show me your world next time, i'd be happy to see it." England's a bit north of where he expected to be someday, but he was planning on being in Europe at some point. And this will even b for good reasons! instead of war.

"As long as it wouldn't cause you trouble..."

[heirtothearcane]

He opens his mouth to explain, but instead he sighs and nods. It's not as easy as that. He knows dreams, but people... people are harder to understand. It's easier to simply nod and return to talking about art.

"It won't..." He examines the sketch of Samus carefully, a hand hovering over the page as he traces the lines without smudging the picture. "Do you prefer drawing people or buildings?"

[juststeverogers]

"I usually draw people, because I like to draw movement. Life. Things like that." Steve shrugs. "It comes easier to me. but lately I've been drawing my home a lot, too. Trying to capture as much as I can on paper before I start to forget it. That way I have something of my home to hold onto." He arrived with nothing but the clothes on his back, and sometimes that really eats at him. If he'd known...even if he could only bring one thing...thoughts like that.

"I don't draw much abstract." He admits after a moment. "But I do enjoy watching you work. You make it seem easy. I know it isn't, eheh."

[heirtothearcane]

Viatorus nods with Steve's answer, sympathetically when he mentions home, a flickering smile appearing when he chuckles. "It was just in case you wanted to draw some of the buildings in London. We have a lot of old ones. Gothic ones and old cathedrals and things."

"I, uh." He runs his thumb along the edge of the sketch book pages. "I could give you dreams about your home, if you wanted. Reliving memories. It wouldn't be hard, since you want to keep them close anyway."

[juststeverogers]

"You can do that?" It's not going home. He can't go home. But it's something. It's a chance to be with loved ones again. Shouldn't he be focused on the future? He feels his mouth go dry and has to sip at his tea before he can formulate an answer.

"....I'd like that." He manages finally. "I'd be willing to trade an awful lot....for a chance at that."

[heirtothearcane]

The dreamwalker nods and lifts a shoulder before letting it drop. "I'd have to go into your dreams, but I can do that. I'd have to be with you in person the first time. But for something like that I should only need to be there at the start to set it up, and then I can leave you alone. W-When I am there, though, you wouldn't know it. I'm very quiet. Good at staying unseen."

[juststeverogers]

"Then, I'd really like that sometime. I don't mind if you come with. You'd be able to see my home, then. It's as good as I can do aside from sketches since I can't actually go back." Steve can't quite help the smile on his face. A chance to go back and see Brooklyn even his own mind sounds really nice.

Plus, it's a chance to share it with someone from the Nexus. Doubly good, he thinks.

"What's your favorite kind of dream?"

[heirtothearcane]

He hadn't expected that invitation. Dreams, homes, they're so private, so personal. It only makes sense that Steve would want to be alone in experiencing that. The surprise on his face is clear though he tries to calm it. "That... That would be a great privilege."

"Oh... Oh, I'm not sure. That's a hard question." He pulls at his pencil. "I think, maybe, when a dreamer learns something, or when I get to help them." A smile finds its way onto his face as he thinks back. His eyes glaze over a little and his fidgeting slows. "I love it when... when I get to help a child overcome their nightmares. They're always so bright and creative and free. Making worlds where monsters can be defeated by marshmallows, and fears are overcome by realising they're the princess. Or... Or flying. When a dreamer flies for the first time." He steals a shy glance up at Steve. "I-It's always wonderful. Elation. Freedom."

[juststeverogers]

"I'll give you the grand tour." Steve laughs then, happy to be talking about his home in any respect. "You already invited me to see your home when we draw next. It's only right I give you the same."

He listens carefully and tries to parse together Viatorus' explanation. Having power in one's dreams would feel nice. Being free to do the things you can't normally. Like flying, or running for ever and ever without getting tired. The more shackles people have in their lives, the more they must cherish their dreams. As an escape and a chance at that freedom, however brief.

"I don't think I've ever done any of that." Steve smiles though. "But it sounds nice."

[heirtothearcane]

Steve's clear happiness, even at just the thought of home, makes him smile. Not a watery one either, but a clear, strong smile. "I'd like that."

"It is. It's part of lucid dreaming. I can teach you, if you like. You can run and fly and breathe under water... You can turn into animals and beasts and make the dream do whatever you want," he chirps away happily as he explains. Then, remembering himself, his smile turns sheepish and he looks down to his book again. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to ramble. This must sound all very silly to you. Getting excited about going to sleep and having a dream."

[juststeverogers]

"It's magic though." Steve shrugs his shoulders. "And you specialize in it, and take pride in giving people freedom they don't have in life. It's nice." He's begun idly sketching again, unaware of his movements of the pencil as of yet.

"If I could control my dreams....I don't think I'd want to breathe under water or turn into animals. I think...I'd want to be home. With my Ma. Or at Christmas dinner, the year we got invited to BUcky's house, and his Mom made mine this lovely dress. She was so happy and I don't remember us ever having a bigger meal and--" He laughs.

"Seems I'm as guilty as you are. It must seem awful mundane, I know. Boring even. Being able to do anything--and choosing to do nothing."

[heirtothearcane]

Viatorus almost laughs with Steve. The scene he describes is like something from a Christmas card. Happy family moments without the formality, ritual or pretence he knows. When Steve interrupts himself, he startles Viatorus from his imagining of it. "No. It's nice. You have warm memories. That's where you're happiest. Of course you want to keep them close. I would too, if I were you."

Any other ideas we want to jump into?

[juststeverogers]

"Mm, thank you." Steve turns down to his sketchbook once more and smiles faintly toward the paper. Long, wispy strokes. Soft lines. Vague shapes, coming together.

He'll draw Viatorus before they're done. It's a quick sketch, but Steve tries to bring out some of the dreamlike abstract that the dreamwalker specializes in.

Not that I can think of just yet!

[heirtothearcane]

If Viatorus realises he's the subject of Steve's sketching he's going to go red as a tomato. But otherwise he's content to pick a subject and practice capturing a hint of personality before they vanish from sight.