21 March 2016 03:16 pm
Dreams haunting dreams
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heirtothearcane"That's the third time that's happened."
"It's alright. It's nothing."
"Who is she?" Oraskis asked, squinting at the figure as Viatorus forced her to dissipate: Eyes full of uncertainty, of hope, long hair expertly pinned up, the faint scent of salt and ginger fading with her...
The younger scholar's brow was furrowed, troubled though he tried not to show it. It was a problem he'd been having with worrisome frequency, which is why he watched, fingers fidgeting, until the image had vanished completely. "A friend."
"A friend? I see." He waited a moment. "She's very pretty."
That pulled his attention back to his cousin, head snapping over to the seer, though he hesitated, taking a breath before he replied. "Um. Yes. She is."
Oraskis couldn't help himself, the large friendly grin wrinkling as he tried to suppress it, even when his words tease the other anyway. "Doing a bit of good old fashioned pining, are we?"
In a rather predictable manner, Viatorus went red and startled. "No! No, it's not like that!"
"And yet..." His eyes slid past Viatorus' shoulder to the figure reforming in the dream once more.
With a small distressed huff, the Dreamwalker waved his arms and she vanished again, as if she were a reflection in the water that was easily distorted.
Squinting, Oraskis seemed to delve deep into his thoughts, though they were still very much on topic. "What was it you told me again?"
"Dreams are for remembering, for understanding. For your heart to hear your head and your head to hear your heart. For all of you to know all of you, and work together. A place to work on problems with your whole self. Nothing else, no distractions." The well dressed boy had appeared out of nowhere, pulled out of a memory to give his opinion as pure fact.
Viatorus pouted at the image of his younger self, irritated by the betrayal.
"I am fairly certain that this young lady is not part of my memory," Oraskis continued, brows lifting now to give his cousin a knowing look.
"Really. It's nothing," Viatorus insisted, pulling his gaze off of the child so that the figure could hop off further into the field they were stood in to enjoy a warm summer sun.
Oraskis' eyebrows practically joined his hairline and he looked around at a non-existent audience. "Oh! Ohmph! The Dreamwalker saying that dreams are nothing! Stop the presses! The last guard of the dreamlands is gone!"
The dramatic reaction was fairly expected, but the suggestion of his hypocrisy and faltering love of this place made him frown deeply and wrinkle up his nose. "Don't say that."
"Why not?" He was back to watching Viatorus, daring him to make an admission or speak a lie. One or the other. They would both know which was which. The Seer had him in a corner.
It took him longer to speak than to realise his predicament. He really didn't want to talk about it, and though he could lie or insist on a change of subject, he knew he would feel as though he'd hurt his cousin deeply. Oraskis was one of the few relatives who treated him fairly, as a friend, an equal. Fobbing him off with lazy lies and half-answers was insulting, he realised.
After gaping for a bit, he looked around for a distraction. He had made them a beautiful valley with dramatic mountains that closed in on all sides, bending and twisting towards the sky which seemed close enough to be slotted inside the teeth of the range. Underneath their feet was rich, green grass flecked with small wildflowers on which butterflies perched in between flights.
"She told me that she loves me," he said finally.
The "Oh" that came in response was one that clearly understood all the nuances that came with such a simple statement. Or so it had seemed, until it was followed up by, "And what did you say?"
"That I can't..." The melancholy of his words made the Seer's snort grating, irreverent. Viatorus shot his cousin a hurt look.
"I'm sorry, my boy." He held up a hand and took a moment to stifle any further chuckling. "It's just such a ridiculous statement. I mean really now, look around you! This is all your doing. All a creation of love. It's what makes the sun feel warm and the grass soft."
"But I can't," Viatorus repeated more forcefully. There was a desperation in his tone and features that put a hint of sadness in Oraskis' eyes. "The rules say... She's not from a magical family. She doesn't have magic. She doesn't even like magic."
This time his raised hand was to calm the younger man down. The dream was getting cool and stuffy at the same time, humid. Only when Viatorus had stopped and returned to something calmer did he speak again. "What would you have liked to say?"
Viatorus's lips trembled. He gaped, closed his mouth, looked away, then down to his fingers picking at each other. The effort with which he was trying to keep himself composed showed in his face, muscles twitching, wavering. Eventually he shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know."
"Well... what did you feel?"
"Scared."
"Scared?"
He nodded, watching his hands with a closeness that didn't make sense for something that he himself was controlling. Or not controlling, as the case may be. "I was hurting her, even though I never meant to. I never wanted to. I wanted to fix it, but... but I couldn't. I was breaking everything. Rules. Feelings. Everything. I... I didn't know how to stop.... stop being cruel. Bad. Wrong. Everything was wrong. Still, now, it's not right."
"Talk to her about it," Oraskis urged gently. "Life is far too short for all of this."
"I already did. She wanted to meet with me, so we did. I... She's brave like that. Corrects her mistakes."
"And?"
"And... we're friends. She promised that she wouldn't blame herself, and I promised I wouldn't feel bad about all of it."
"That's not going very well, is it?" There was a kind of disappointment in his expression, hidden in his wrinkles.
Viatorus sighed and shook his hanging head. "No."
The two of them stood in the field. It had grown colder, sharper, as if every detail were more crisp than before. The temperature wasn't real, though. It didn't matter. Only affecting the atmosphere, making everything a little less pleasant than it had been.
"I keep wondering about things. What ifs. What could be. I know I shouldn't, but... I don't mean to, really. It just... happens. I'm trying not to."
"It doesn't look like you've got much choice in the matter." Oraskis' smile was wry though it tried to be encouraging. "You're a dreamer, Viatorus. Dreaming of things, real or not, is your speciality." That seemed to trouble his cousin more than comfort him, so Oraskis put his hands in his pockets and started wandering. "Come on then. We still have plenty of time. Why don't you show me something amazing?"
As if only now noticing their surroundings, Viatorus looked around and sighed softly. "I've really messed this place up, haven't I?"
"Better fix it, then."
He nodded, calmed and concentrated. In a heartbeat there were butterflies and swallows filling a cloudless summer sky.
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^^ But I'm glad you like it. I admit, I quite enjoy writing Oraskis as well. These two get along together well.
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